y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
