so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
