As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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