yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
