i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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