that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I would fuck him just for his dog
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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