I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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