I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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