I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
