I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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