FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
