its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
