question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
