And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
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The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
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This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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