One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
