Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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