You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
