this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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