I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Randomize
