We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
