Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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