This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Text me some of your sweat
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
