My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
