It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
