She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Less talking, more tequila
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
