where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
