is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
