I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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