hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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