man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
