So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Panties = found
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