Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
