I'm so fucking centered right now
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
