You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
