a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
