is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
