As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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