right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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