I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
