we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
