paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
