You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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