the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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