Houston, we have a squirter
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
