I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
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I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
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also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize