the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize