I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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