I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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