Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
