I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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