Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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