i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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