New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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