But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
