i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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