normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Randomize
