I'm so fucking centered right now
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
