Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
