I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
