No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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