whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
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