God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
