So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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