im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
