You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sorry about my life...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
