Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
