my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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